When budgeting, sometimes you actually CAN afford to make plans, but that doesn’t mean that you WANT to.
It’s all about prioritizing plans and accepting the fact that while you can still have fun and do A LOT of things, you can’t possibly do everything. Doing everything will not only create stress on your budget, but it will also likely create stress emotionally as well.
Something I’ve found, especially after pushing pause during Covid, has been that I’m able to be more present and enjoy plans more when I’m not overbooking myself. I often choose to spend more money for quality items (think cost per wear), so why not carry that concept over here and spend more time per plan and just fewer plans overall? Seems like a more enjoyable, yet budget-friendly concept to me.
Something else I’ve honed in on recently is how I say no to plans. I used to feel guilty saying no, even if I didn’t want anything to do with the proposed plans. As a result, I would over-explain myself. Instead of having the effect I’d hoped for (understanding/acceptance), it opened the door for negotiation and disapproval. But guess what?! You don’t need approval.
You don’t need to give a reason when saying no!
It isn’t easy. In fact, it can be SUPER tough. Here are some ways to say no without the over-explanations!
- I can’t make that work this time.
- That’s not my thing, what about this instead?
- Let’s do something else another time.
- I have other plans that day.
- Thanks for thinking of me, but I am going to pass.
- I appreciate it, but I’m not going to be able to make it.
- I need to sit this one out.
- That’s not a priority for me right now.
- It’s not in my budget this month.
- Rain check?
- No.
When you say no and get push back, it could be because the person cares about you and wants to spend quality time with you. Not an excuse for pushing your boundaries, but good intentions at least. If that’s the case and you prioritize that as well, try to come up with a budget-friendly option that you both enjoy.
However, when your “no” isn’t accepted and you receive push back, stick to your word. If you don’t and change your “no” to a “yes”, you are teaching others that your “no” is flexible. This will lead to you feeling as though others don’t respect your boundaries, whereas in reality, you are struggling to set clear boundaries to be respected.
In terms of boundaries and respect, this goes both ways! Something that I have been cognizant of, especially lately, has been making sure I respect when other people set boundaries. This enables people to feel respected by you, which in turn, might promote reciprocation of that respect when you decline in the future. Golden rule type stuff, right?!
Overall, don’t make things harder than they need to be! Say no when you mean it. Say yes when you mean it. Be respectful. Prioritize people, not things!